Silent tears
by PersonifiedKat
Summary: Wally has a fatal heart defect and was told that he has three years to live. He feels helpless and all he wants to do is give up, but will his friends let him? This one starts out a little bit depressing, but bear with me. I plan on adding at least a little bit of 3x4, 2x5, and 1x362 if I can, but no guarantees. Rated T, for now.
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys, this is another story I've started, I'm still deciding on whether of not I should make it long or short, so don't expect to much yet. This one is also a little darker than the others, but bear with me; it might get good ;)

Please review… I want to know if it is worth pursuing.

Thanks again

-Kat

**Disclaimer: I do not own The KND.**

I sat there, under the tree with tears in my eyes and pain in my chest. I had been doing this everyday now; telling the team that I was going for a walk, but really I would just come back here. I would sit under the tree and think, mostly about stuff I couldn't tell them… not yet anyway. My mind would wander to the words spoken by the doctor. _I'm sorry, but there is no cure… you have 3 years to live. _I sighed. What would the others say when they found out? What would they do? I knew how much they'd miss me, even if I could be an idiot sometimes. I just had to keep them from finding out, put up a brave face and stay strong for as long as I could, only letting out my emotions when they weren't there to see me. The ache in my chest deepened as I thought about the unfairness. I was only 16, and yet I was already preparing myself for the end. My family had known for a while already, and they still couldn't wrap their minds around it. Poor little Joey was still in denial, trying to act as though nothing was wrong and that I would be fine. I had already told the little eight-year-old many a time that he would have to deal with it sooner or later, but he would just yell at me and run to his room in tears. Then there were my parents, who couldn't get over it. My dad had started drinking again, not too much, but it was noticeable. I had heard him crying into my mothers shoulder more than enough to last me a lifetime… unfortunately, my lifetime would be far shorter then I had wanted. I would sometimes wake up in the middle of the night only to find my mother watching me sleep from her place in my doorway, silent tears streaming down her cheeks. _Cruddy deffect_, I cursed in my head. _Why did this happen to me? What had I done wrong?_ Were questions that frequently plagued my mind. The doctor had said it was a 1 in a million type of thing; that it had nothing to do with me at all. He also said it would be painless, silent and, well, deadly. I sighed again, but this time I allowed the tears to stream down my face, like little rivers. I would allow myself to cry only when no one could see, not even my parents were allowed to watch me in this state. I had spent so many years building up my strength, and teaching myself to hide my emotions, and I wasn't about to let all that work go to waste. I ran my fingers through my hair, pushing aside my golden bangs to allow the tears an un-bordered crossing to the ground. My mind returned to the thought of my friends again. _How am I supposed to tell them this? How will they take it?_ What about all the missions, the danger they would be subjected to with out me? How would they defeat the adults without a hand-to-hand combat specialist? I felt my thoughts focus on one friend in particular. Kuki. She had been my best friend for as long as I could remember, and I had harboured untold feelings for her the whole time. I had tried to confess them to her, but I had never been able to… and now I was going to die. I allowed a few more tears to fall, before I stood up, and wiped them away. I had been gone long enough, and if I stayed any longer, the others might start to worry. I began my long trek back to the tree house, suppressing the pain and sadness that tried to overwhelm me. As I approached the structure- the one that held all the good memories of adventure and excitement inside- I made sure there was no sign of what I had been doing for the past hour or so. I wiped away the remnants of the tears and brushed the dirt off my cloths. With one last deep breath I entered. When I saw my friends, they were all lounging in the main room, talking and laughing. I smiled sadly at them, thinking about how much I wished I could join them in happiness, and how much I would miss them when I was gone. I suppressed the thoughts along with my emotions and sauntered in, replacing my smile with my regular pout.

"Hey guys, what's up?" I asked casually. They all looked up and smiled, oblivious to my impending doom.

"Nothin' much" said Abby, with a little shrug, "just jokin' around" I nodded and flopped down on the couch next to Hoagie, who was absent-mindedly tinkering away with some little machine.

"That was a long walk," said Nigel, trying to hide the suspicion in his voice, but I heard it loud and clear.

"I needed some fresh air," I defended, "Plus, my mom wanted me to get her somethin' from the store," I lied. He studied me for a moment, but left it at that. I leaned over to look at the little machine Hoagie was meddling with.

"What are you working on Hoags?" I asked. He grinned up at me.

"I'm updating the scamper and this is just a little piece of it," he said excitedly. He was obsessed with most things scientific, but mechanics and technology were definitely his strong suits.

"Cool," I said, grinning back. I felt a twinge in my chest. Hoagie was like a brother to me, he had always been. I loved to see him enjoying himself, but it made me sad to know that I wasn't going to live long enough to be there for him in the future. I pushed the thought away, when I heard him talking again.

"You alright man?" he asked, looking up from his repair job.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I reassured him, but I knew that if I stayed much longer I would give off to many clues, "Well, I'm just going to go to my room then," I said. I walked out of the room and down the seemingly endless network of hallways. Once I located the room with the huge backwards four, I entered and locked it behind me. I walked over to my punching bag and grabbed my gloves. I often would let loose the emotions that I kept pent up through fighting; it was just my way I guess, but lately, even my punches hadn't helped much. I beat at the worn out bag for hours, focusing only on making it swing. I tried to forget about my non-existent future, I tried to forget about how I was supposed to tell my friends, and I most of all tried to forget that I was dying. After yet another hour, I flopped down on my bed, sweat pouring down my face. I was breathing heavily, adrenaline pumping through my veins. I would probably have stayed there too, had I not heard a nock on my door. I stood up and grabbed a towel on my way to the door. I unlocked and opened only to find myself looking down at, my friend and leader's bald head.

"Hey numbuh 1," I said, smiling and wiping the sweat from my hair, "What's up?" He looked at me sternly, and pushed past me as he walked into my room. He sat down at my desk and swivelled the chair so that he was looking at me, arms crossed. I was starting to get a little nervous, for he most definitely didn't look happy.

"What's going on with you?" he asked, but there was no humour in his voice. Just seriousness.

"What are you talkin' about?" I said, trying to keep my voice level. _He's on to me… How can he be on to me?_

"You and I both know what I'm talking about, perfectly well," He narrowed his eyes behind his trademark sunglasses. I was really starting to get nervous now.

"Would you care to enlighten me then?" I asked, raising an eyebrow and crossing my arms. He stood up and walked over to me, keeping his arms crossed and deepening his frown.

"Fine then, we'll do this the hard way," he said, his voice stone cold. He uncrossed his arms and held up his index finger, "You've been going on long walks, something you've never done before," he raised another finger, "You've been lying about your whereabouts," at this I raised an eyebrow, "your mother hasn't seen you since this morning," he explained and I sighed, but he rose yet another finger, "and you've been avoiding us by hiding in your room for hours on end, everyday!" by now he was really up in my face, anger evident in his steady stare, "I want to know what's going on now, or so help me, I will have you decommissioned before you can say 'The butler did it', three times fast!" When he finished he was seething, holding my nervous gaze in his glare. I tried to stare him down but I had no chance, the guy lived for this kind of thing. After a few minutes of angered silence I sighed and sat down on the edge of my bed, running my fingers through my hair.

"You're serious?" I asked looking up at him. His glare had softened to a scowl, but his voice was still razor sharp.

"Deadly." He said flatly. I sighed again.

"I guess it was going to happen sooner or later," I said, returning my gaze to the floor, "You might want to sit down," he raised an eyebrow, but wandered over and pulled the desk chair closer to the bed. Once he sat down, I started.

"Well… It all started when I got really sick one day. I honestly thought it was just the flue or something, but my mom told me to go see the doctor…"

0000000

"So basically… I have three years to live before I die in my sleep." I finished, still staring at the floor. I waited for him to say something… anything, but there was only silence. I was scared to look up, not knowing what to expect when I did. After another moment of silence, I finally raised my head. I saw my friend. He had his elbows on his knees, and his head in his hands, leaning so that I could not see his face.

"Please tell me you're joking," he croaked as though his steady voice had shattered, "Please tell me that something else is going on and that you're just joking." I sat in silence, wondering what to say. He was begging for it to not be real, but it was. I followed his example and buried my face in my hands.

"I wish I could say I was joking… but unfortunately… I'm dead serious," I said, my voice cracking with every word. There was another short silence before he spoke again.

"So… when did you find out that you… you know… had three years before you…" he trailed off, and looked up. When I met his gaze, I saw tears in his eyes, and I struggled to not let mine escape.

"A month ago, I guess," I said. He looked down again, then back up.

"Does your family know?" I nodded slowly, "How's Joey taking it?"

"He's still in denial… My dad started drinking again, not enough to be bad though, but… still" I said. He nodded slowly, then commenced again.

"Do any of the others know yet?" I shifted uncomfortably.

"No," I sighed.

"Why didn't you tell us sooner… maybe we can find a way to cure-,"

"There is no cure!" I nearly yelled, "The doctor made that blatantly clear. I'm dying, and there is nothing we can do to stop it so you may as well just learn to accept it sooner rather than later." He was a little taken aback by my sudden outburst, but he just sighed and rubbed his temples. I laid back on my pillow and closed my eyes.

"Wally-,"

"Just accept it Nigel." I repeated. He stood up abruptly and grabbed the collar of my shirt, forcing me to my feet. My eyes shot open from the sudden movement. His glare had returned, but this time I saw tears painting his face.

"It's not my job to accept it," he choked harshly, "My job is to ensure the success and safety of my team, and just sitting back and "Accepting" the impending death of one of my best friends and teammates would mean that I'm not doing my job," he snarled. He let go of me and I fell back on my bed.

"I'm going to tell the others," he turned to leave but I jumped off my bed and blocked the door.

"No!" I cried.

"But they need to know," he said, tears still streaming down his face. I sighed.

"No they don't…" the tears now running free, "I just wanted to make the best of my last few years…" I hid my face behind my bangs, "I don't want to waste my time searching for a cure that doesn't exist."

"So you're just giving up?" I looked up to see my friend crossing his arms, "You're just going to let yourself die? You aren't even going to fight for your future?" I stared at him, not knowing what to say.

"I- there's nothing else I can do Nigel," I said. He stood there for a minute, just staring at me expressionlessly.

"The Wally I always knew, never gave up without a fight," he said curtly, "and the others would agree with me." I felt him put a hand on my shoulder, and I looked up to meet his gaze, and found softness in his eyes.

"Wally… It won't be easy. Heck, your right, it might not even be possible, but the least we can do is give it a shot," he gave me a weak smile, "I'd rather try and fail, then not try and find out later that we could have succeeded," I nodded, and straightened myself up a little, holding my head high.

"Okay numbuh 1… I'll give it a shot. After all, you're right" I smirked at him, "Wallabee Beatles never runs from a fight."


	2. Chapter 2

Hey, so this is the second part. I hope it turned out okay, I've been a little busy lately.

**Please review; give me suggestions, ideas that might improve the story, etc.**

**Thanks again **

**-Kat**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the KND!**

Words that need to be spoken

"So… you gonna tell em'? Or are we just going to stand here all night," asked Nigel in his regular British accent. We were standing in the doorway of the main room, looking in on the others, who were obliviously minding their own activities. Part of me really wanted to just let them… just let them stay oblivious to the situation that had been forced upon me, but Nigel was right; they needed to know.

"Can't this wait 'til… I dunno… anytime but now?" I sighed and slide down the wall. I put my head in my hands and rubbed my temples, trying to calm my unnerved brain.

"No, Wally," He said, sternly yet kindly, "The sooner they know the better," I looked up to find my friend kneeling beside me and offering an outstretched hand. I smiled weakly and took his hand. Once on my feet, he prodded me forward into the room, despite my complaints. He kept pushing me forward until I stood in the centre of the room. By now, all the others had their attention focused on me and numbuh 1, probably because it was a little strange that he had been forcibly dragging me into the room. I smiled sheepishly, and almost tried to run for it. I hated being the centre of attention, and the reason for why I was forced into it, made it all the worse. Nigel stood in my way and gave me a stern look, then using his head, he gestured to the others. I sighed. When I turned around again, I found that Hoagie, Abby and Kuki were all seated on the couch in front of me, and Nigel pushed past me to sit beside Hoagie. I looked at them for a moment, as they returned my gaze with curiosity and concern. I took a deep breath. _May as well get it over with…_

"I h-have… s-somethin' important to tell y-you guys," they all straightened up a little, curiosity pulling them to the edge of their seats. I looked over at Nigel, who gave me a nod of encouragement. I sighed and pulled up a chair.

When I finished telling them, I was scared to look up from the floor. I didn't know what their reactions would be. I was startled by a crash, and when I looked up I saw Hoagie's retreating figure, storming down the hallway, and a smashed piece of machinery embedded in the wall. I turned my gaze to face Abby, who just sat there, her jaw dropped and her eyes wide. She got off the couch and dazedly walked out of the room, in stunned silence. Lastly I looked to Kuki. Her face was flooded with silent tears. Her stunning violet eyes were clouded with sadness as their gaze locked onto mine. Her face was pleading, as if she was begging for me to shout, "Just Kidding!" any minute. Instead I let my gaze fall away and hid my face from her sight in an effort to keep my own tears from falling. She got up and ran to her room, crying rattling sobs all the way until I heard her door slam shut. I cringed at the sound of her tears hitting the floor. I hated it when she cried, I always had, and the fact that I was the reason for her tears only made it worse. I looked up at Nigel and saw him wiping a tear from his eye.

"I knew this would happen…" I croaked.

"Yes… but they needed to hear it. Now they at least know why you've been acting so strange," I nodded my head, then let it fall again. He stood up and walked over to the mechanical mess left by Hoagie, and studied it for a moment.

"Gee… I didn't think Hoagie could throw that hard," he said, obviously trying to lighten the mood, but it only frustrated me further. I stood up and straightened myself out.

"I guess I should go talk to them," I said, though part of me just wanted to run to my room and lock the door. He nodded and I sauntered off towards Kuki's room, but I stopped when I heard her sobs. They were loud and full of anguish. Even the muffled sounds of her tears made my heart ache. Her pain was the last thing I wanted to cause, and yet here I was. I decided that I ought to come back later, when she was feeling a little better, then maybe I could actually do something to help her. I turned to head towards Hoagie's room instead, since he obviously wasn't taking it any better than Kuki. I approached the door and heard crashing and banging coming from the inside. I turned the handle and entered cautiously only to find a piece of flying machinery heading my way. I ducked just in time, and watched as it smashed and shattered against the wall behind me. I looked up to see Hoagie, panting and seething, his teeth gritted and his eyes filled with angry tears behind his goggles. He growled again and walked over to his bed, sitting on the edge of it and crossing his arms. I almost chuckled. He was acting a lot like I would when I lost my temper, which was weird for him. He was rarely violent, and was especially careful with his mechanics, and yet right now, he was smashing and banging every piece. I walked over to him, as he leaned forward putting his head in his hands and resting his elbows on his knees. I sat down next to him, but I wasn't sure what to say. Luckily, he spoke first.

"So… you're really… dying?" he asked, looking up at me, tears streaming from his eyes. I hesitated, but nodded slowly. He clenched his fists and looked around for something to break but I grabbed him before he could. I pushed him so that he sat back down on the bed, and he stared up at me, anger in his eyes and tears painting his cheeks.

"You can't! You can't die! You're not supposed to!" He screamed, burying his face in his hands. I didn't know what to do. I had never seen my friend like this before. He was usually the good-humoured, excitable nerd of the group. Right now, he was none of those things. He stood up, pushed me away and started pacing around his room, pulling at his hair and playing with his cloths out of frustration.

"Hoags-,"

"Don't!" He said, glaring at me through his tear filled goggles.

"Don't what?" I asked, trying to remain calm.

"Don't try to tell me that everything's okay… don't try to act like this isn't a big deal!" He was shaking where he stood, and my concern for him deepened.

"I wasn't going to do that,"

"Yes you were! You always do that… you shrug things off and try to act like there's nothing wrong! Well I'm telling you now Wally, there _is_ something wrong!" He was yelling loud enough for the whole neighbourhood to hear. I couldn't help it; I started to get angry myself.

"You think I don't know that!" I yelled back, walking closer so that he was forced to look me in the eyes, " You think I'm okay with the fact that I'm never going to see my 20th birthday?" He started backing away, but I just kept coming until he was cornered against the wall, "If you think that, you're dead wrong, Hoags! You're dead wrong…" I felt my anger leave me as I saw the anguish in my friend's eyes. He looked away, but I put my hand on his shoulder.

"You weren't supposed to die Wally…" He chocked. His voice was barely audible. I sighed.

"Maybe I wasn't Hoags… but that doesn't change what's going to happen," I said quietly as my friends gaze returned to mine.

"I just can't believe it…" He cried and slid down the wall so that his head was buried in his knees. I felt my own tears painting my cheeks, but quickly wiped them away. I sat down next to him, leaning my back against the wall and closing my eyes for a moment.

"I know Hoagie… neither can I… but it's true. I heard it straight from the doctor himself." He didn't say anything in reply, so I just kept going, "I don't want it to be true, but I don't want to waste my last few years in denial, okay?" We sat in silence for a few minutes, then he spoke.

"So… three years huh?" his words were feeble and cracking.

"Yeah," I replied, though my voice was little better than his.

"Maybe the doctor made a mistake, maybe you got-,"

"It wasn't a mistake," I said sternly, "We did so many tests and x-rays and ultra sounds, and the result was always the same. Hoagie, just face it… I'm dying,"

"Well… maybe there is a cure… maybe they just haven't found it yet…"

"I doubt it Hoagie. The doctor isn't even totally sure how it works…"

"Well maybe you just need to find a different doctor," he said hopefully, "Maybe your current doctor is just an incapable idiot," I chuckled a little.

"I doubt that too," I said with a weak smile. He sighed and hung his head again.

"There must be something we can do…" He lifted his head and removed his goggles, allowing his hand to rub his teary eyes.

"Maybe… but it's unlikely," I said closing my eyes again, "Better than us have tried… and failed, to find a cure."

"Better than us? There isn't anyone better than us, especially since we have me" he smiled smugly before sniffling again. I laughed.

"Whateva helps you sleep at night, mate,"

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" he joked, punch my shoulder playfully.

"Nothin'… other than the fact that you're a dope," I laughed, punching him back. We sat there chuckling for a minute, before the desperation in the air settled on us again.

"What are we supposed to do without you, Wally?" he asked quietly, reverting back to the voice of he had possessed during childhood. His voice had deepened since then, but every once and a while, it would revert back to the way it once was. I solemnly realised just how much he had changed since then. He had groan slim over the years, and tall, though even his height could not mach mine (to everyone's surprise). His hair was still the same tawny, auburn colour that it had always been, but now it was longer and shaggier. It suited him. My heart ached at the thought of leaving him and the others one day, but I didn't have time to wallow in pain anymore. I had to accept things just like everyone else.

"I'm sure that numbuh 362 could find a suitable replacement," I gulped, "When I'm gone,"

"No one could ever replace you Wally! Not even Hercules!" he huffed, crossing his arms and glaring at the floor.

"I don't know… Hercules would be pretty awesome, and probably a lot smarter too," I said, meaning it as a joke.

"That's not funny, just so you know," he mumbled, resting his chin on his hands, "Hercules would suck in comparison to you…"

"I'm not that great," I retorted, but he just shook his head.

"Yeah you are. Besides, you've been my best friend since we were like… 7 or something. You've always stood up for me too, even when it got you in trouble," he quaked, "I can't even imagine you not being there someday. I can't say those things about Hercules" I sighed.

"I know… and with any luck, maybe we will find a cure… but the likelihood is that I'm not going to make it too far past 19," he groaned and banged his head against the wall.

"It's not fair!" he grieved.

"You're right… It's not fair… but life isn't fair," I preached, surprised at my own maturity. Hoagie looked up at me and sighed, tears falling from his eyes yet again.

"Since when did you get so calm?" he asked through his water eyes, "Wouldn't you normally be busting holes in the walls or something?" I chuckled.

"I've already gotten it all out, after all, it has been a month," I said, "you should have seen me when I first found out… it was rough," I grimaced at the memory of my overwhelming anger, "I guess I realised that no matter how many dents you make in your wall, it isn't going to change the future."

"That's very mature of you,"

"Why thank you, I'll be here all week," I jokingly bowed and he smirked back at me, replacing his goggles over his eyes. We sat in silence for a moment after that, before he started up again.

"So… how are you going to tell Kuki now?" he asked, but I was confused.

"What do you mean? She knows, she was with us when I told you guys,"

"No, not that…" he looked at me and rolled his eyes when my expression only became more bewildered.

"Then what?" I questioned, still not catching on.

"Gosh, sometimes I think you're this dense on purpose," he groaned, pushing the palm of his hand to his forehead, "I mean… how are you going to tell her how you feel about her?" I was a little taken aback by the question.

"Um…. I- er… I-I," I wasn't sure if I should deny it… or just give in, "I-I don't know…" I said, hanging my head, giving in, "I want her to know, but if I tell her and she actually likes me back, then my death will just be harder on her," he nodded his head slowly.

"True… and she obviously likes you… a lot,"

"I don't know about that, mate," I said shrugging a little, "I'm hardly worth her time in comparison to all those other guys lined up to date her," In my mind, I knew it was true. Kuki was a beautiful, sweet, intelligent girl. A guy would have to be dumb as a stump to miss that. It had always made me incredibly angry and jealous when other guys found a way to make her melodic laugh ring, for I had always liked to think that only I possessed that capability. Guys often stared at her when she walked down the hallways at school, and I would always stay close by her just in case they tried anything that might hurt her. I had gotten into many a fight over her protection, and it had often angered her, but deep down, I think she knew I was just looking out for her. Either way, she was to good for a trouble maker of… lesser intelligence, like myself (though I had progressed to a C/B average in school).

"Dude, those cookie cutter lover-boys could never catch her eye… she knows what they really care about," he huffed. I knew just how much Hoagie hated how other guys thought. He had always hated it, and tried his very best to steer numbuhs 3 and 5 away from them… especially five, to whom he took a special liking. I chuckled at my friend. We both shared an over protective streak, and it had often got us into trouble, though different kinds of trouble.

"I suppose… but at least they can offer her a future… now, I can't," I felt my tears stinging at my eyes again, and tried to suppress them. I buried my face in my hands and pulled my knees to my chest, "god, why does this have to hurt so much!" this alarmed my friend.

"Wait, I thought the doctor said it would be painless," I looked up to see my friends eyes wide with worry and concern. I threw my hands up out of frustration.

"I didn't mean the heart defect!" I barked, but then pulled back, "I meant having to be in love with a girl I can never be with," I sighed at my official confession. We sat in silence.

"You should tell her," he said with conviction, "She would want to know." I slumped, hoping he was right.

"Okay… I guess… I will…"


	3. Chapter 3

Hey all! Here's the next chapter. I hope it's okay, I had exams this week so that's why it took me so long. Please review if you can

-Kat

_Without_

After Hoagie had finally calmed down and he came to his senses, he started to regret the explosion caused by his tantrum.

"Look at this place! I destroyed almost everything!" He was frantically running around the room, examining the remains of his poor machines. Luckily, he only kept some of his inventions in his room. The better part of them resided in the equipment room on the other side of the tree house.

"Yeah, it was almost kind of funny," I said, chuckling. He glared at me through his goggles and rolled his eyes as he heaved a lump of sparking mechanics onto his worktable.

"Don't you have to go see if the others are okay or something?" he asked, obviously a little peeved.

"Yeah, but I'll help fix this place up a bit before I do," I said tugging at a wrench that had previously been stabbed into the wall by a furious Hoagie P. Gilligan. When I finally pulled it free, I handed it to him and he grinned.

"Thanks!"

We struggled with the crushed and smashed remnants of Hoagies own personal collection of mechanics for nearly two hours before I finally decided that I ought to try and console the other two. He suggested that I go and see Kuki first, but when I reached her door, she was still crying rather loudly. Just listening in from outside her door for a manner of minutes was too heart wrenching for me to bear, and I felt my own tears trying desperately to escape. Yet again, I silently decided that I would allow her a little more time to herself before I even tried to console her, knowing that I would only find myself crying alongside her if I didn't. I wandered over to Abby's room and knocked on the door, which wasn't even fully closed. I heard a muffled grunt come from inside, and decided to take that as an, "enter if you dare," sort of thing. I slowly pushed the door open, inch by inch, just in case I found myself intruding on her or something, but there was no yelp of complaint or anything, so I entered the room. It was dim in the room, the only light coming from the window. I looked around for a moment, originally concerned by the apparent absence of anything human, but then I saw a long, dark brown braid hanging over the side of the couch that was turned away from where I stood. I cautiously sauntered over to find that Abby was lying down on the couch, facing up toward the ceiling with her arms crossed over her chest. I couldn't see her face, for she had deliberately placed her cap so that it was covering it. I sighed, trying to think of something to say, but I was tong tied.

"Um… Abby?" I mumbled nervously. There was no reply.

"Are… you mad at me or something?" I questioned, knowing that she only ignored people when she was upset. There was only silence. I groaned, and buried my face in my hands.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to say…" I confessed. There was still no reply, and I felt my temper flaring up. I held back, trying to think of what to do, when an idea came to me. I rushed out of the room and back towards Hoagie's. When I reached him I grabbed the collar of his shirt and dragged him down the hallways.

"Hey! What's the big idea?!" He demanded, pulling out of my grasp to face me.

"Abby won't talk to me," I said, "and I need you to talk to her… find out what's wrong and make her feel better,"

"Why me?" He asked curiously.

"Because I know you can make her smile," I grinned at the blush that started to spread across his face. I grabbed him again and kept dragging.

"Alright! Alright! I'm going, just stop wrinkling my shirt," he chuckled, brushing off his cloths, before he entered Abby's room. I waited patiently for him to come out, being very careful to not listen in on their conversation. I may have been curious, but I had my standards. When He finally came out, I gave him a questioning look.

"Okay… she said she'll talk to you… but I'm warning you, she's still quite peeved," I groaned but nodded. I thanked him for helping, then entered the room again. Abby was still on the couch, but she was now sitting and leaning against the back of it, though her arms were still crossed. I pulled her desk chair over and sat so that I was facing her. I couldn't help but feel a little out of place. Abby had always been like an older sister figure to me, and she was normally the one who would be helping _me_ with _my_ problems. This would probably continue once she got past the initial pain and shock of my situation, but for now, the tables were turned.

"Are you going to talk to me now?" I asked, with a weak smile. She didn't look up, and instead, stared at the floor, hiding her face behind her red cap. I waited for her to say something in return, and after a few minutes of silence, I started to think she wouldn't.

"Why didn't ya tell us sooner?" she growled quietly.

"I was scared…" I confessed, hoping my honesty would prevent her from biting off my head.

"Of us? Your friends? I thought ya trusted us?"

"I do! I wasn't scared that you wouldn't… support me, I guess… I was scared you would treat me differently!" I tried to explain.

"Why? Because you're dying!" she spat, finally looking up. Her eyes were filled the same anguish and anger that Hoagie's had held. I couldn't help but feel hurt by her harshness.

"I-I… I just wanted to make the best of my last few years," I sighed, "I didn't want you guys to be burdened by this,"

"Yeah? Well that just makes ya stupid, fool!" she snapped.

"Since when did caring about your friends' happiness make you stupid," I growled back, feeling my temper rising again. _Man, why do I have to have such a short fuse? _

"Since it meant keepin' secrets involvin' life and death!" she barked back.

"I wasn't doing it to hurt you guys! I was doing it to protect you!"

"Why is it that all ya ever worry about is everyone else?" she bellowed, rising to her feet so that she could stare down at me, "Why can't ya try and protect yourself for once, ya big oaf,"

"When it comes to this, I _can't_ protect myself!" I yelled back, "I just thought it might be better if you all didn't know!"

"Oh, and waking up one morning three years from now and finding ya dead is so much better?" I just sat there, looking up at the seething operative. I could barely recognise her based on the way she was acting. The Abby I always knew, was smart, calm and collected. She rarely ever showed emotion other than maybe a little affection towards the team- especially Hoagie. These qualities were what made her such a good espionage operative. Right now however, she was the total opposite of her normal self.

"I don't know…" I groaned, burying my face back into my hands, wishing for her to stop yelling and start helping, "Maybe I didn't think it through… but it's hard to look that far into the future when all that's waiting for you is your own gravestone," I confessed. It was true… it was painful to know that in just three years, I would be dead and gone. I heard a muffled thump and when I looked up, I saw that Abby had slumped back down on the couch. I could only see one side of her face, for she was avoiding my gaze by looking at the adjacent wall. I watched as a tear rolled down her cheek.

"I'm sorry Abby… I… I was having a hard time accepting things, and I just needed some time to myself. Your right, maybe I should have told you sooner, but I didn't. Now will you please stop making this even harder for me…" I choked on every word before pulling myself to my feet and turning towards the door. I couldn't just sit there and get yelled at by someone who used to help me through things like this.

"I knew this would change things…" I hissed, to myself more than anyone else. I reached the door and was about to turn the handle and exit when a voice stopped me.

"Wally, wait," it squeaked. I turned around to see Abby's head peering over the back of her couch, tears in her eyes. I complied and walked back over to the chair I had previously vacated.

"Abby's sorry," she sniffled, wiping her eyes with her oversized, dark blue shirt, "Abby just don't know how to handle somethin' like this. It's not every day that the boy you've always seen as a little brother tells ya that he's dyin'" She looked up and locked her gaze on mine. I tried to smile, but it was weak. I felt a little bit better knowing that she shared that same sibling-like feeling.

"It's okay Abby… I don't know how to handle it either," I placed a hand on her cheek, and wiped a newly fallen tear from her chocolate skin, "We just have to accept it… we can't stop it,"

"But… Abby can't accept it!" she yelped, "You're so young… ya have your whole life ahead of ya!" I felt my tears fighting back again, and made an even greater effort to suppress them, though the lump in my throat didn't help.

"_**Had **_my whole life ahead of me," I corrected.

"Not helpin'!" she blubbered, glaring at me.

"Well it's true… besides, maybe there's a reason for this… maybe it's for the best," I was trying to convince myself more than her. I knew I would be of no help to my teammates if I told them to look at the bright sides that I couldn't even see.

"How can ya say that!" she cried, "How can your death possibly be a good thing!?" I shrugged.

"I don't know… I guess we'll find out…" I muttered. She whimpered, burying her face in her hands.

"Stop talkin' like that!"

"Well it's the truth,"

"Yeah, well you're just making this harder!" she snapped, glaring at me again. I sighed.

"Listen… the sooner we accept things, the better. I'm just trying to help things along,"

"Yeah? Well you listen here, bub! Abby ain't acceptin' anythin' except a cure, which we are going to find with or without your help!" she barked. I grumbled again.

"There is no cure… now you just sound like Nigel did,"

"Abby don't care who she sounds like! And there has to be a cure, we are going to find it! End of discussion," she huffed. I couldn't help but chuckle at her bossy attitude.

"I didn't say we wouldn't try, I just said that there wasn't one _yet_," I defended.

"Good!" she huffed. We sat in silence for a moment.

"What will we do without ya if… if we don't find a cure?" she inquired quietly.

"Like I said to Hoagie, I'm sure that Rachel could find a suitable replacement," I said, suppressing my tears once again.

"Well, like Hoagie probably said, no one can replace ya," she sniffled, "We've been the same team for nearly 7 years now, and we would never be the same without ya."

"Life goes on Abby, and I would hate to die and have you guys waste your lives being depressed about… me. Also, I'd hate for the KND/TND to be affected by my absence, it'd be for the best if someone took my place…" a tear escaped and ran it's way across my skin, "I don't want to leave you guys, but when I do… I need you to move on," a heavy silence engulfed us again.

"So… what about Kuki?" she asked quietly. I slumped in my chair.

"What about her"

"Have you talked to her yet?" she inquired.

"No… not yet…" I mumbled, turning my attention to the floor.

"How come?"

"I hate seeing her cry," I admitted.

"Well, just waiting for her to stop isn't gonna help ya know," she stated flatly. I looked up at her.

"Yeah, I know… but I just thought that I'd give her some time to herself…"

"She don't want time to herself," she insisted, "she wants you…" this took me by surprise.

"What are you talking about?" I questioned, "Why would she want to see me when I'm the reason she's crying?" she shrugged.

"She's in some serious pain right now, and you're almost always the one she turns to when she's upset," she explained. I thought about it for a minute, and realised she was right.

"I guess… but I don't know what I'm supposed to say to her. I know that she doesn't want to hear me tell her to accept things," She nodded.

"Then don't tell her that," she said flatly.

"But she's going to have to sooner or later," I argued.

"So let it be later. She's sensitive, and you know that, but she also would want you to be happy. If you asked her not to cry enough times, she'd stop," she continued, trying to explain. I started to understand what she meant, "Let her do what you wanted to do; let her make the best of your last three years. Don't make her focus on… what _could_ happen." I smiled when she emphasised her optimism. I thought for a moment, and realised she was right.

"Okay, sounds like a good idea. After all I don't want her to be depressed for the rest of my life…"

"I know ya don't, and it's sweet," she said sincerely. I scoffed.

"The terrifying Wallabee Beatles, sweet? Please…" I joked and she chuckled a little, wiping away the last of her tears. Silence engulfed us once more.

"So… are you going to be okay?" I asked cautiously. She thought for a moment and shrugged.

"No. Abby won't be okay if you die… but since we're not going to let that happen, yeah… Abby thinks she'll be okay," she gave me a weak copy of her signature smirk, and I chuckled.

"Thanks Abby… for everything," I said with a smile of my own. I had always wanted to thank her for everything she had done for me, but now I felt it had to be said as soon as possible, "You've always helped me and I'm really grateful for it," Her eyes shown with fresh tears, but she choked them back.

"Hey! What are siblings for?" she chuckled softly.


	4. Chapter 4

Hello readers. This is the fourth part, and I know it took me a while, but I was thinking really hard about how I wanted to do this. I like how it turned out, for I wanted to show a bit of history between Wally and Kuki…

**Don't worry the next chapter will have Kuki's reaction, so just be patient; I want it to be perfect.**

**Please review and I hope you're enjoying it so far **

**-Kat**

Disclaimer: I do not own KND

As I approached the room I had been avoiding for too long, my mind was racing. _How will this affect her? Will we ever be the same? Will she still be my friend?_ Were only a few examples of the questions that plagued my mind. I decided to give myself a moment to think before I plunged into the dreaded unknown. I realised silently that this whole business with comforting my shell-shocked friends had almost totally diverted my attention away from the depression that had been my constant companion since my first meeting with the doctor. As I stood there, outside her door, taking the time to breathe, I also realised that I would rather talk to the frantic Kuki than try to deal with that horrible feeling of loss and desperation again… even if only for a moment. I let my mind wander to the good old days, when Kuki and I would play, argue, then comfort each other. When I would protect her from anything that threatened her happiness, even though I didn't totally understand my motivations to do so at the time. I felt a stab of pain as I realised those days were over, for her happiness was shattering at that very moment, on the other side of the door. I couldn't protect her from the curse that had been inflicted on me, and even I could see that it had definitely struck her hard when I had been forced to tell her and the others.

"That cruddy Nigel!" I cursed under my breath, even though I knew he was not really the one to blame. My mind was pulled to the memory of her earth rattling sobs as she ran down the hallway. Luckily, I could only hear muffled whimpers now, which helped a little, but it still left me feeling a whole manner of emotions that did not lighten the mood. Guilt, was the one I felt the most. How could I be doing this to her? Hurting her this much? I had not anticipated the length at which her sobs would last when I had been prodded into telling my second family of the doom that was awaiting me. What will happen to her when I'm gone? Who will take over my place as her protector? At this thought, I felt my fists clench. The idea of anyone but me protecting her, comforting her, consoling her made me sick to my stomach, but I would rather someone else than no-one at all if those were my only two choices. I felt tears prickling at my eyes as I remembered all the times she had helped me through things, just like Abby, but… different. My mind went back to one memory that I had always held close to me… when we were only 13.

Flashback

"_OW!" I cried in pain, as my friends laid me down on my bed, back at the tree house._

"_Man, that looks real bad…" stated Abby, wavering nervousness plagued her voice, which was a rare occurrence._

"_No really!" snapped Nigel, before coiling back under Abby's glare. I ignored the common exchange and instead groaned in pain again as Kuki lifted the edge of my orange hoodie, which was now stained an ominous red colour, to get a better look at the injury that splayed itself across my side. With a small gasp, her face twisted in a mixture of fear, worry and maybe even a little bit of disgust. This made me a little nervous, but another stab of pain caught my attention. _

"_Crud!" I gasped, and the argument that had erupted between Nigel and Abby was silenced. Nigel walked over and gave Kuki an inquiring look._

"_What's the over view numbuh 3?" he asked nervously, eyeing me worriedly. _

"_It's the worst I've seen so far," she stated, "I'll tell you one thing; those delightful dorks are really getting serious about this stuff." She was right. It had become obvious that the delightful teens had become far more intent on making children's lives miserable; ours especially. This was not the first mission as of late in which I had found myself in a similar state, though… as Kuki had said… this was the worst. _

"_Can you deal with it? Or is it…" He interrupted himself with a gulp, "… is it out of your capabilities?" ask Nigel, worriedly. She hesitated just enough for me to notice before she grinned at Nigel._

"_Of course I can deal with it silly!" she exclaimed, before running off, presumably to retrieve her first aid supplies. As she left, I let out another soft groan and propped myself up with my elbow, pushing up so I could lean on the headboard of my bed._

"_Man, this smarts!" I growled through gritted teeth. I felt a hand offer me aid in the effort of sitting up, and when I looked up, I saw Hoagie's crooked grin. I took the offered hand and he pulled me up a little more. I had to bite my tong as he did so, as to not let out a yelp from the pain the movement had caused. He must have noticed this, for his grin thinned as worry danced in his eyes._

"_You need to be more careful in the future, numbuh 4." Stated Nigel, his eyes stern and his arms crossed, "You need to learn to keep your 'Instincts', in check." I groaned again, but not out of pain._

"_I wasn't about to let them 'it numbuh 3!" I growled unintentionally, "And that's who they were aimin' for." He simply shook his head, but I knew that he understood my motives, even if I didn't totally myself. _

"_Still, surely ya could have thought of somethin' else to do instead of jumpin' in front of their laser-gun-thingy-ma-bob!" snapped an aggravated Abby. I groaned again, but this time it __**was**__ because of the pain._

"_Well, It wasn't like I had an hour to think things through!" I defended._

"_Even if ya did have an hour, ya still would have done what ya did, fool!" She retorted. My anger bubbled as I was about to reply, but an all-new, incredibly powerful, stab of pain interrupted me. I couldn't help the loud yelp of agony that escaped my lips. I clutched my side, only to feel the red liquid that had previously soaked my hoodie, was now pouring out even faster than before._

"_Uh, oh" said Hoagie, his face grimacing from the sight of blood before he turned to Nigel, "I think this is worse than we thought, we should take him up to Moon Base," Nigel nodded in agreement._

"_Definitely," He said before he and Hoagie each grabbed one of my arms and wrapped them around their shoulders. Luckily, by this time, I had grown quite a bit and was now equally tall to the other boys, for if I had been as short as I had once been, my feet would no longer have been touching the ground. We struggled as they helped me through the tree house all the way to the hangar. I continued to bite my tong the whole way, preventing any mores whimpers of pain from escaping my lips. As they settled me into my chair on the ship I felt yet another spark of pain course through my side and I lurched side ways._

"_Ahhh…" I hissed, and the other two boys were on me in seconds._

"_You'll be okay numbuh 4," assured Nigel._

"Yeah, we'll get you up to Moon Base as soon as the other two get here." Grinned Hoagie, though he was fidgeting uneasily. I nodded as my eyes stung from the pain and I leaned back in my chair letting my head roll slightly. The fatigue from the mission and my injury were starting to flood through my body. I felt my consciousness slipping when the entry of the other two operatives jolted me back into reality. I groaned at the sudden movement and before I knew it, I felt hands on my face and I felt myself dazedly looking up into frightened violet eyes.

"_He's losing a lot of blood and becoming feverish!" Kuki explained to Hoagie._

"_In other words…?" He looked up apprehensively._

"_Drive!" she darn near yelled._

"_Got it!" he grinned starting up the ship and sending them off into space. _

_00000_

What happened when we reached the Moon base was still kind of a blur. There had been a lot of shouting and I remember being taken somewhere on some kind of rolling device. The most distinct thing I remember was Kuki never letting go of my hand. I blacked out a few minutes after the rolling sensation had stopped, despite every inch of my brain screaming, _**Stay awake, Wally! Stay awake!**_

The moments after I woke up from my unconsciousness were much clearer, and I remember almost every thing…

_I felt like I had been pelted with a ton of rocks… repeatedly. There was also a throbbing ache residing in my side and whenever I moved a stab of pain would ravish my body. I tried to open my eyes but they were heavy and also sore. I heard muffled noises around me, and as I listened I realised they were voices. I forced my lids to open and, as my vision adjusted, I began to recognise the voices and their owners._

_"I wish he thought things through more before he went and did such a stupid thing-," started an annoyed Kuki, who was speaking to Nigel, but I didn't let her finish._

_"'EY! Why does everyone keep sayin' that'!?" I growled crossing my arms, though the movement made my vision blur for a moment. Their attention quickly turned to me._

_"Wally!" cried Kuki. She launched herself at me and gave me one of her famous bear hugs. The tight squeezing was really quite painful._

_"Ouf!" I gasped._

_"Kuki! Be careful!" cried Nigel, seeing me wince._

_"Oops! Sorry Wally!" she gasped, instantly pulling away, a look of concern and worry plastered on her face. I chuckled a little at that._

_"S'alright, Kooks… I'm okay," I said, but right then, another piercing sensation exploded through me and I gasped in pain._

_"Here Wally," said Kuki, handing me some medication and a cup of water, "Take these, they should help," I swallowed the water and meds gratefully._

_"Thanks," I smiled at her, and she grinned back. Then a thought came to me, "'ow long was I out?" I asked Nigel. He looked solemn._

_"Two days, or so," he said, "I should have known you needed serious medical attention…" he trailed off and looked away. I sighed and shook my head at my friend; he was always trying to blame himself for other peoples' problems._

_"It isn't your fault Nigel, so don't even go there," I said sternly. He looked back and nodded, but he didn't seem convinced. He stood up and smiled weakly at me._

_"I'm going to go tell the others you're up," he said before turning and walking away. I shook my head again, but then turned my attention to Kuki. She was quite silent in comparison to her usual bubbly demeanour._

_"Y'okay, Kooks?" I asked, and she smiled and nodded, before her face fell and she looked away again. I sighed, "What's wrong?"_

_"It's going to be a scar," she said, a tear rolling down her face, " a bad one…" I looked down to see that I was shirtless and I noticed the mark of my injury. It was a long thin line that stretched across my left side, just above my hip. There were dozens of tiny stitches lining the gash, all perfectly spaced and perfectly neat. For some reason I never understood, she hated scars. Something about a permanent reminder of pain? Like I said, I never understood._

_"Well… at least the stitching is good," I said with a smile, and I saw her face light up a little._

_"It ought to be, I did it myself!" she smiled proudly._

_"Well thanks," I said rubbing the back of my neck nervously, as I felt my cheeks burning._

_"No problem Wally… After what you did, it's the least I could do…" she said, her eyes growing watery, "I'm sorry Wally…"_

_"For what?" I asked._

_"For always messing things up… I can never do anything helpful," she said, tears rolling down her cheeks, "sometimes I think you'd all be better off without-,"_

_"Don't say it!" I snarled._

_"But it's true!" she whimpered, burying her face in her hands. I reached over and wrapped my arms around her._

_"No it isn't… not even close," I whispered into her ear, "We need you, the team wouldn't be right without you," and I realised how true my words were. My mind instantly recalled all the times she had patched me up, calmed me down and even cheered me up during or after a mission. No one else on the team could tame me, the rough, tough Australian, like she could… or at least, not with such ease. I needed her more than she could ever know. She had done so much for me, and she didn't even realise it. It was the first time I had thought about how much good she brought to me… how she saved me from myself. I smiled at the thought. **Yes Kuki, we need you… so much…**_

_"Promise?" she sniffled, nuzzling her head into the crook of my neck, making my hairs stand on end, and my cheeks turn crimson._

_"Promise," I said with conviction, and I held out my pinkie finger. She smiled back and hooked her pinkie finger with mine. I started to blush even more at our closeness, for I still had one arm wrapped around her waist, but I didn't look away to hide it. I could've sworn that her cheeks had grown pink as well. Before I could stop myself, I started to lean in closer, and so did she. Just as I felt her breath on my lips, the others barged and we tore apart…_

End of flashback

She had nursed me back to health after that. I smiled as I remembered how she would constantly check up on me, making sure I was okay. The tears were now staining my cheeks. I had loved her since the day we met, though I had denied it for as long as I could. Now, I wished I could go back in time and make the best of the good memories. I sighed, allowing the tears a few more moments to torment my pride, before wiping them away and straightening up. The memory had only given me another good reason to talk to her. It can't wait any longer… I have to tell her. I reached up and brought my fist to her door.

"C-come i-in," she stuttered between sniffles. I took a deep breath and reached for the knob, turning it slowly…


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys! I hope that you are enjoying the story so far! Yes, this is the one you have been waiting, it's finally up. Sorry if I kept you all waiting, but I was trying to decide how I wanted the scene to play out. I hope I made the right choice. I also added a small section from Kuki's pov, just because I thought it would help **

**-Thank you to all the people who have reviewed, I really do appreciate it!**

**-Kat**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the KND.**

As I turned the handle to go in, the anticipation, dread, fear and nervousness that were settled in my stomach began to churn and- I'll be honest- I felt like I was about to lose my lunch. I pushed the feeling down, trying to take control of my mind and force myself farther into the room. I had been in there many times before over the years; as a young kid- when she would force me to play tea party with her, as a pre-teen- when she would have me comfort her during thunder storms or whenever the power would go out, and even now- for whatever horrible, terrible thing she would need my advice for. I sighed as my mind ran itself over all the memories yet again, pushing the tears to my lids as I tried to suppress them. I forced myself to continue, and I found myself approaching the giant teddy bear bed, which Kuki proudly owned. Though she had gotten rid of many of her other old toys and plushies, there were something's she had been reluctant to throw away. To be honest, it made me happy to know that even though she might have been older; she was still a child at heart. I had always wished I could say the same about myself, but lately, I couldn't remember how it felt to be a kid. My worst fear had always been that someday I might forget my love for childhood. I saw the out line of her body, curled up on the bed, lying on her side with her face buried in a pillow and her arms wrapped tightly around a small, worn out, orange Rainbow Monkey. I smiled when I saw it, remembering how I had gotten it for her, sort of as a going away present the year of my "decommissioning". I sat down on the edge of her bed and laid a hand on her shoulder. I could still hear muffled sniffles, but at least they weren't the heart shattering sobs like earlier- they were only heart _denting_.

"Kooks?" I asked gingerly. Her only response was more muffled sniffles. I sighed again.

"Kuki… please talk to me," I pleaded. All I wanted was to see her vibrant violet eyes; happy and careless, like they had always been. All I wanted was to see her signature grin, that would literally light up the room… in my eyes anyway. All I wanted was to go back to being that clueless little ten year old I once was… but that wasn't going to happen. I felt her stir under my hand, as she removed her face from the pillow and shifted slightly to look at me. Her eyes were red rimmed, puffy and tired from all the crying. Her lips were trembling, and her voice was shaky and cracking when she spoke.

"You- you can't… y-you can't l-leave me," she sobbed, tearing my heart to pieces. What could I tell her? I had never been able to lie to her, and I didn't _want_ to anyway. I couldn't tell her that everything would be all right, for I didn't believe it would myself; though my heart yearned to.

"I… I don't want to… to leave, Kooks, but I…" I trailed off, knowing there was know point in continuing. It was too hard to continue anyway. She pushed her face back into her pillow once more, sobbing even harder.

"Kuki, please stop crying," I begged, "I hate it when you cr-,"

"Well what do you expect me to do?!" she demanded, pushing her pillow away, "What else can I do, Wally?! My be-best friend is… dying," she cried. I felt so much guilt, so much hatred- no- loathing for myself. Her tears were another one of my worst nightmares, and I knew that they would haunt my dreams for the rest of my… abnormally short life.

"Make the best of my time," I prayed. She sat there silently for a moment, tears rolling down her soft, pale cheeks.

"I… I can't just forget Wally… I just can't!" She buried her face in her hands as her body quaked from the rattling sobs, "What are we supposed to do without you? What am _I _supposed to do without you!?" I was taken aback by the anger in her voice. Kuki had a bad side, and I had been on the receiving end of it far to many times for my liking, but I had not expected her to be _angry_ over _this_.

"Kuki, I-,"

"You always stood up for us! Protected us! Protected _me_!" she continued, the anguish in her voice turning her words into venom that seared my soul. He vibrant eyes, ablaze "If it weren't for you, _I_ probably would be dead right now! I probably would have died years ago on some mission or another, where I was to busy being silly to pay any attention!"

"Kuki, please-,"

"And you want me to just forget about you dying!? You want me to act like nothings wrong!?" she continued, her voice quivering but still strong.

"KUKI!" I was so desperate for her to just stop, to stop yelling at me, to stop tearing me apart from the inside out. Every word she spoke brought on a new kind of pain, a new kind of torture. I turned away to face the wall, in hopes that she would stop, but she kept going.

"Well it's not going to happen, Wally!" she just ignored me and kept ranting, "I can't just let go of you! None of us can! And you are not going to-,"

"KUKI! Please stop!" I screamed. My eyes were sore and tired of suppressing the tears as they fought to paint my face. I couldn't keep listening to the _one_ girl I ever loved, to the _one_ girl who ever had the ability to tame me, to the _one_ girl I could never really consider 'cruddy', as she screamed in my face. I lost control of my temper, something that happened far more often then it should.

"I know it's not easy for you! I know that! I know it's painful! I get it!" I bellowed, my hands pulling at my hair to avoid breaking anything that might be of any kind of importance, "How do you think I feel?! Don't you think this is hard for me too?! I don't want to leave you guys! I don't want to die! But I can't stop it! So stop acting as though this is my fault! Please, please… please stop yelling at me," I finished my own rant, winding down. I felt the tears that had been pushing so hard, pouring down my face, and I slumped in defeat, "Kooks… I'm scared to leave you guys alone… I used to have nightmares all the time about what would happen if I hadn't been on those missions when the enemies nearly got ya… but I can't stop it, and for once… I can't fight to save you guys from something," I was choking on my last words. There was nothing else to be said when it came to that. No, I wasn't scared of death itself, though most people wouldn't believe me. I had never truly feared death, it was part of who I was, and it had been that quality that had saved the lives of my team mates so many times- though it was also that quality that caused me to get injured many a time as well. I would sacrifice my life in a heart beat to keep the team going if need be. No, I did not fear death… but I did fear what death brought. I feared the idea of not being able to personally ensure the safety of my friends… especially Kuki. I feared the lack of reassurance. I feared the unknown. I feared the idea of not being able to protect my friends from my own demise. As my mind churned with the thoughts, I felt a set of thin, yet comforting arms encircle my waist, and tighten with strength that was powered by desperation. She laid her head on my back, and nuzzled it comfortingly.

"You mean… you can't fight it _alone_…" she said softly, her voice sounding full of conviction, but empowered by despair. I chuckled through my tears.

"Ya know… I'll never get to know how it feels to give up with you guys around," I felt her grip tighten even more.

"Nope," she said softly. Silence enveloped us, and it pressed me with the thick fog of sadness and misery. As she clutched to me with such pain and sorrow, I felt like I had lost everything. I had lost my hopes and dreams for the future, though I hadn't had many; I was always a live in the moment kind of guy. I had lost my family and friends to the cold clutches of tribulation. And now I was losing Kuki, or at least the parts of her I loved- like the huge, contagious smile, the happy go lucky attitude, and the constant, energetic optimism. My hatred toward fate and the world around me bubbled in my chest.

"This ruined _everything_," I growled to myself. Yet again, I felt a comforting squeeze come from the girl behind me.

"It's not over yet…" she said quietly. I shifted to look at her. She promptly pulled her face away from my back and rested her chin on my shoulder.

"No?" I asked with a small smile.

"No… we still have three years… with us on the case, I'm sure we can find a cure, even if it takes us 2 years and 364 days," she said proudly, with her own small smile. I chuckled silently, and wiped away the tears.

"I guess… It's worth a try, right?"

"It's worth a million tries," she confirmed and after that we sat in silence. I contemplated telling her. Telling her how much I loved her. How much I _needed_ her. I really did. But… it just wasn't the right time… I could feel it. I didn't know when the right time would come, but I knew that it would sooner or later.

"I'd miss you a lot if you… left us," she sniffled, burying her face in the back of my hoodie once more. The painful lump in my throat grew once more, and replying was even more difficult.

"I'd miss you too," I said quietly.

"You can't die, Wally…" she cried softly, and my heart lurched again. I sighed.

"Please don't cry Kooks… you know I hate it when you cry," I choked. My hatred of her tears was what had always propelled me to try and make her happy, to try and bring back that toothy grin, even if it meant my own embarrassment. After a few minutes of laboured sniffles, she replied.

"I'll try…" I smiled.

"Thanks, Kooks," and then, as if on cure, the dim lamp in the corner of the room flickered off. Darkness enveloped us, and Kuki gasped. We heard footsteps coming down the hall and then Hoagie appeared in the doorway.

"Hey guys, looks like the power went out. I hear there's a storm coming," and with that, he rushed off again, presumably to begin working on getting the power back up. We would need it for the shields and alarms in case any adults tried anything while we were asleep. I always felt bad for the guy. Since we got rid of the hamsters- it was inhumane to force them to work for us- he had been working over time on nights like these, trying to find an alternate source of power. It was his job, as the 2x4 Technology officer, but the poor guy almost never got a chance to sleep when the power went out. I was brought back to reality by a soft whimper.

"It's okay, Kooks. Don't worry, Hoags will get the lights back on," I said, trying to comfort her. Just then, a flash of light sliced through the darkness and a low rumble followed shortly after. She shrieked and buried her face even farther into my hoodie, clutching to me tightly, with her fingers digging into my chest. I had to bite lip to not chuckle. She had always been afraid of the dark, and thunderstorms… it was yet another thing that kept her seeming so… childlike, and I loved it. I started to get up, for it was starting to get late, and I thought she would want to be alone.

"Where are you going?" she whimpered as I pulled myself from her grasp.

"Well… it's getting late and… and I thought you might like to be alone," I explained, but she grabbed my arm and pulled me back down to a sitting position.

"Please stay Wally… I'm scared," she whined, still clutching my arm. I smiled softly, but blushed furiously. It wasn't abnormal for me to sleep in her room during storms or black outs, but it still made my heart flutter every time she asked me to. It always had.

"Okay, okay… I'll stay," I relented, and with that, she grinned vibrantly.

"Yay!," She squealed, finally releasing my arm. I went to my room, changed, then returned bearing a pillow and a blanket. On the way, I bumped into Hoagie, who was running frantically down the hallway, carrying his toolbox. He grinned all-knowingly when he saw my possessions.

"Kuki again?" he asked, though I'm sure he knew that it was.

"Yep… she's still terrified of the dark… and thunderstorms," I said casually. They all knew that I was only going there to comfort her, and though it's technically not permitted by the rules, none of the others ever got on my case about it.

"Okay then, don't have to much fun," he joked.

"You _know_ I would never," I called after him, totally serious. I knocked on the door; careful to make sure I didn't walk in on her or anything.

"Come in!" she called, and at that moment another loud crack cut through the air. I heard a terrified shriek come from the room, and couldn't help but chuckle. I walked in, set up my stuff on the floor next to her bed, then promptly began consoling my horrified friend, who was now curled up in a ball underneath her covers, quivering and trembling.

"S'alright, Kooks," I cooed to her, "I'm here, you're safe," she sniffled and revealed her head from beneath the covers.

"O-o-okay," she stuttered. I smiled reassuringly, then settled myself down under my blanket. Surprisingly, within barely seconds of lying down, I fell asleep.

* * *

"Wally?" I called from beneath my covers. I hadn't been able to fall asleep with the constant growling from the sky that always followed it's bright outbursts. I cried as yet another crack sounded through the room. It was nearly 2 am and I was exhausted, but with the fear churning in my stomach, I couldn't close my eyes.

"Wally!" I shrieked. I heard him stir and sighed with relief.

"Wha- wha? K-Kuki?" he mumbled, barely awake.

"Wally, I'm scared," I whimpered. _Man I could be such a puff-bunny sometimes._

"It's okay Kooks, nothing's gonna hurt ya," he replied groggily. Normally, his assurances would help me enough to get to sleep, but not this time for some reason.

"Wally… can you… can you come sleep up here," I asked before I could stop myself. I heard a thump, and a muffled 'ow', and I could easily assume that he had whacked his head on my bedside table. I had to stifle my giggles.

"Um… you sure Kooks," he asked, his voice sounding kind of… nervous?

"Please, Wally? I'm to scared to sleep," I was practically begging now. I couldn't figure out why I wanted to feel his presence near so badly, though part of me had a good guess.

"O… Okay I guess," I heard him stir again and saw him stand to his feet. I promptly, lifted the covers for him, and though he hesitated, he climbed into the bed. At first I could tell he felt a little uncomfortable, but I ignored it and snuggled up under his arm. Yet another mystery to me was how just feeling his muscular arms wrap around my slight stature could make me feel safe, comfortable and… totally at home. I wrapped my arms around his waist, and clung tightly, barely taking notice as his body tensed. I was relieved when he wrapped his other arm around my shoulders, and he relaxed. Yet another rumbled erupted from outdoors, but this one did not faze me. I was safe, with this beautiful boy here to protect me. _Wait a second… beautiful?_ I felt my gaze shift slightly to look up his face, which almost seemed as though it had been tinted red, and I realised just how attractive he was. Okay, okay… so maybe this wasn't really the first time I noticed- actually, I had been noticing since I turned 10 years old- but his normally boyish features seemed highlighted in the dim lighting, giving them a manly edge. I was thankful that he had closed his eyes, for I didn't want him to catch me staring so intently. I loved the curve of his jaw, it had always mesmerized me; the way it was set, as though he constantly possessed this unmatchable determination. The way his mouth seemed to naturally curve into an adorable, even childish pout, always made my heart flutter. Though I could not see them at that moment, I also felt my mind wander to the memory of his glistening jade eyes, the ones that sported confidence and pride without making him seem arrogant- well, not too arrogant anyways. Another, louder crash of thunder rattled the tree house, and I cringed. I felt Wally's hand rub my back, and my cheeks burned.

"S'alright, Kooks" he muttered sleepily. I snuggled in closer to his chest.

"Good night, Wally," I whispered through a yawn.

"'night" he replied, in groggy Aussie accent. I felt his breathing become rhythmic and shallow, and instantly knew that he had fallen asleep. Before I could join him, my mind turned to another subject: His looming demise.

"How am I supposed to live without you, Wally?" I cried, only loud enough for myself to hear. I knew at that moment why my heart always fluttered, why my mind always seemed to go blank, and why his presence had always been so comforting, whenever he was around. I was in love with his essence, his being, with… him. I couldn't bear thinking of a time when I wouldn't have his arms ready to wrap around me, when I wouldn't have his shoulder to cry on, when I wouldn't be able to count on him to play with me during my childish antics. He couldn't possibly really be dying… could he? No! I won't let him. Not when I need him so much… not when _we_ need him.

"I won't let you go, Wally," I promised him, before my lids finally fell shut.


End file.
